Wednesday, 1 May 2013

A few thoughts on health and judgement. With some other things thrown in for good measure.



This post is mostly inspired by Sofie's blog the other day about the emergence of the Real Woman culture and alientating body types. It received some pretty heated comments on Facebook, I personally thought it was a good piece but everyone has differing ideas. Coincidentally, or perhaps not so, differing ideas and ideals is pretty much what I'm writing about right now.

I was having lunch in the library cafe last week, as per. I was having a terrible day, so I decided that food would help. Instead of eating the lunch that I'd brought with me, I bought a tuna mayo baguette, a slice of coffee cake, and a large hot chocolate. Plus a Coke and a packet of crisps to take away with me. Hannah (here is her wonderful blog) came and sat down and said, "That's unlike you!", clearly referring to my food. Now, before I go on, I'd like to point out that I have absolutely no problem with Hannah saying this. That's not what this post is about. She was right; as Sofie said the other day, "It's always a grain with you, Serena." My lunch generally consists of wholegrain salad, a homemade granola bar, and a bucketload of fruit. You can see the difference, right? But my point is, why should eating sandwiches and junk food be "unlike" me? Why should anyone need to conform to a set 'thing'?

Why, for example, should anyone be judged for not doing exercise? For eating carbs, or chocolate, or 'fatty' foods? Of course, it's impossible not to judge people who don't do what you (usually) do. A couple of weeks ago I watched a guy sitting opposite me in the library practically inhale four muffins, and my first thought was, Really? Muffins? They're not going to help your brain... And then I reminded myself that I didn't know what he was going through, when his deadline was, in fact I knew nothing about him. So I stopped thinking about him at all, went back on with my work, and only remembered him two weeks later when I pulled an all-nighter fuelled by a large Domino's, all of the chocolate, and a litre of Boost energy drink. It made me smile.

I'm not trying to set myself up as some perfectly zen person, accepting of everyone and everything. I'm really not. Nor am I suggesting that all judgement should be reserved in every situation. I just mean that in terms of eating, and exercise, and general healthiness, maybe we should all do what we want and leave others be. Instead of bragging about how healthily you live, keep silent. People will stop hating you, and instead you might silently encourage someone else to be more healthy too.

A new saying seems to be emerging from the Health corner: eat what you want, when you want. It's great, it goes some way to promote a balanced and non-restrictive attitude towards food. Some criticise it, saying that it can be taken too literally, people will just eat whatever they want, act on every whim for a McDonald's or packet of biscuits (not, I'd like to emphasise, a single biscuit. A single biscuit never did anyone any harm). But when the 'healthy' alternative is to deprive ourselves of everything that we love, why would you not have an extra biscuit if that's what you needed to do for yourself?

I read an interesting post on Thursday, which of course I cannot find anywhere, about emotional eating. Emotional eating is dressed up and put in the stocks for us to throw metaphorical rotten tomatoes at: it's 'bad' and should be trained out of us. Clearly if you're triggered by emotions to eat in a way that identifies with the criteria for binge eating then help should be sought, but if you eat a big slab of chocolate once in a while because you've had a really rubbish day, you've simply listened to what your body and brain want and have given it that. And when was listening to and understanding ourselves a bad thing? As this article said, surely all eating is emotional. The taste or smell or particular type of food might invoke good memories, or perhaps eating something delicious simply makes you happy. In the same way, eating a really healthy meal might make you feel good, dare I say smug, about yourself. Humans are emotional beings by default, and regardless of whether it's healthy or unhealthy, most food experiences create an emotional response.

So instead of judging people for not eating 'healthily', instead of bombarding the whole world with images of glowing, bubbling, self-satisfied (no no, not all paragons of health are self-satisfied), possibly photoshopped men and women who are oh-so-much-better-than-the-rabble, why don't the People In Charge just encourage healthy eating? Don't link it to happiness, don't link it to weight loss, link it to what it should be linked to: health. And make it optional. If it isn't right for you, if your circumstances just don't allow seven family meals a week of organic ingredients bought from the local farmer's market, you shouldn't feel in the wrong.

I apologise for going all over the place with this post. I seem to have a whole load of thoughts that are on the same sort of topic but don't really flow into each other, but then again, this is my blog and I can do what I want. You can't judge.

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Life lessons and food adventures


My vegan quest ended almost exactly a month ago. I’m not sure why I haven’t written about it yet. Perhaps because I was embarrassed at just how bad a vegan I was? Anyone can testify to this. It was appalling. And while I don’t feel that I should make excuses (after all, I was simply giving it a go), I will say that it’s a hard thing to keep up when the people you’re around aren’t vegan. Especially when you’re at home and eating family meals… But, as I said, I don’t need to excuse myself, so this isn’t going to be a blog about how and why I went wrong. Instead, I want to share a few things that I learned on the way.

Nutritional yeast is a great cheese substitute. In my initial vegan post I put links to a whole bunch of recipes that I wanted to try out, and one of these was vegan mac’n’cheese. I do love mac’n’cheese, but I rarely have cheese in the house so it isn’t something I normally make. Nutritional yeast, however, (a) doesn’t go solid and mouldy like cheese does, and (b) isn’t tempting to eat the entire lot in one sitting, so it economically viable for me to buy... Sorted. I spied some in Tullivers, a shop in York that stocks a lot of vegan and health food produce, bought it, and made a variation of this recipe.  I made a white sauce from dairy-free butter and almond milk, and then added the yeast and some mustard (our food processor is quite small and I was scared that the cashews would break it! I’ll definitely try the full recipe once I’m home). If you have all the spices I would definitely recommend putting them all in, but a simplified version works just as well. I’m not sure how much yeast I added, just enough that it tasted cheesy! I had the sauce with mixed vegetables rather than pasta, but it would work with almost any food. I also chuck the nutritional yeast into pretty much everything I make. If you mix it in whilst the food is hot it gives it a great nutty taste.

Homemade nut butter is the food of the gods. I have a massive thing for peanut butter: I will eat the entire jar in ten minutes if you ask me to. I love it. I’ve already posted my attempt at making almond butter, which was amazing. I also made my own peanut butter at home, since the blender there is a bit more sturdy than our little one. Although most shop-bought peanut butter doesn’t have many unnatural ingredients in it, it does have extra salt and sugar. Once you try homemade you’ll realise that although there is a slight difference in taste, the salt and sugar definitely aren’t necessary. If you don’t have the time to make your own, health food shops and vegan shops often sell all natural nut butters. I used Meridian peanut butter from Holland and Barrett to make granola bars last week and it was just as good as homemade.

3. Wholegrains aren't at all boring, or hard to find. In a bid to get protein whilst eating vegan (ok, so this wasn’t actually a problem since I ate meat and dairy anyway, but let’s just gloss over that for now) I did a bit of research and found that wholegrain foods contain a lot of protein. So far, so good. But where to find these wholegrains? I picked up bits and pieces of information from various places, but this page covers it all quite nicely. Couscous featured a lot in my lunch choices, but since that’s basically just ground-up pasta I’ve replaced it with millet, bulgur wheat, quinoa, spelt pasta and lentils. It makes for much more interesting lunches than just coucous, and a few of those I had no idea existed.


Coincidentally, or perhaps not, I’m being a much better pseudo-vegan now that I’m not actually trying to. I realised that as soon as I couldn’t have certain things, I suddenly wanted them. I’m definitely not fully vegan, but vegetarianism is going pretty well: in the last three weeks I’ve had one chicken sandwich, one tuna sandwich, and one bacon butty. Most of the time the thought of eating meat is actually repulsive to me. I think I’ll just take this one step at a time.  

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Of course, sometimes being 22 isn't all that great.

Luckily I'm still at university, and come graduation time I won't be thrust out into the not-so-big bad world and sort my own taxes. But I know that time will come.


Perhaps whilst I'm still living in the comfort of my own home I'll get my Dad to teach me about taxes...

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

My life isn't sorted, and that's okay with me.


Taylor Swift has done it again. With a few words strung together, she’s reminded me that at 22, I really don’t need to have it all together yet. “We’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical oh yeh!”



Before anyone goes ahead and thinks I’m currently an emotional mess who is panicking about what I’m meant to be doing with my life, I’d like to confirm that I’m not. In the grand scheme of my whole life (excluding the years from my birth to the age of, oh, let’s say nine), I feel more together now than I probably ever have. This is, I expect, because I’m focussing on finishing my degree. There’s no space to be an emotional wreck for any reason, no space to think about what I’m doing next. It’s dissertation and essays day in, day out for the next eight weeks. It isn’t so much that the lyrics have confirmed that what I sometimes feel is okay. It’s that the grand old age of twenty two isn’t actually so old after all.

Take a look at some of my favourite lyrics: “It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight”, “Everything will be alright if we keep dancing like we’re 22”, “You look like bad news, I gotta have you”. T-Swift clearly isn’t the expert on what age we should start acting responsibly, but this picture of twenty two year-olds doesn’t scream “responsible professionals”. Of course, the lyrics aren’t perfect: I hope that I will never be too old to have breakfast at midnight; if I’m twenty two right now, and my life as it is is supposed to be “alright”, I hate to think what quandaries I will have come up against by my thirtieth birthday. But these are irrelevant to the general spirit of the song.

Regardless of this image, there seems to be a huge contradiction in opinion as to what people my age should be doing. I’m graduating this summer. I’ll be twenty two. Most of my friends/fellow graduates will be twenty one. I’m sure that quite a few will still be twenty. Throughout our final year of university, we get bombarded (or so it seems) with emails from the careers department, as well as various student websites, telling us to fit in those final volunteer placements, sort out our CVs, decide what career we want to enter, and apply for internships, placements and graduate schemes.

Excuse me? I use the phrase “because reasons” to explain things that I can’t be bothered to address, I still manage to dye my clothes in the washing machine, and I got disproportionately excited at being shown menthol-capsule cigarettes. In what world should I know what I want to do with myself when I grow up?

I get told by articles on the internet, people I meet, and my parents’ painstakingly-assembled photograph albums that my 20s should be the best years of my life. I watch films where people in their twenties spend more time exploring the world, making mistakes, and doing jobs simply to make money rather than because that’s the job they desperately want to do. But ask my careers department and they’ll tell me that I should have it all figured out by now. Not that I’m bashing them: it is their job, after all. And in the current (foreseeable) economic climate, it does seem sensible to find a steady job and get onto that first rung of the career ladder.

It turns out that I’m not a sensible person. I don’t know what I want to do, I have no desire to get into a long-term-but-mind-numbingly-boring job (blame, or thank as I do, my father for that), I haven’t applied for graduate schemes or internships. Luckily, I think I have the whole thing figured out. I think that on the serious-job/have-all-of-the-fun tangent, I’ve got it right for me. I’m moving back home, working a boring-but-it-adds-to-my-CV-and-references office job for a while, and then going travelling.



Too many places, not enough time
There are some people lucky enough to know what they want to do, and who have their lives sorted at least for the next year. Whether through masters placements, PGCE courses or internships, their lives are headed in some sort of logical direction. In some ways I’d really love to be as sorted as them. But I don’t necessarily feel unlucky to still be apparently floating in the sky of What Shall I Do Next. When people ask me what I want to do next, my utterly truthful answer is ‘Travel’. My choice to explore the world isn’t one made because I don’t know what to do. I genuinely want to travel, and I don’t want to get into a regular job and then regret, seven years down the line, that I didn’t take the opportunity to experiences countries and cultures so different from mine. Luckily my not knowing what I want to do coincides with this decision, but it didn’t dictate it.

Most people make a choice that is right for themselves, but I expect that some would rather throw caution to the wind and take off on an adventure than step onto the path that someone else has chosen for them. Luckily my family is (at most times) onboard, and I have an older cousin who did the same thing and isn’t a bum living off benefits and floating from squat to squat. I just wish that what I’m doing didn’t, at times, make me feel that society is judging me. 

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Selective Veganism For Sort-Of Lent

Over the past year, for some reason, I've become increasingly interested in nutrition. Mostly it comes from spending too much time procrastinating on the internet, reading food blogs and nutrition articles, and I find it fascinating. I wanted to try being full-on vegan for a bit, thought that Lent was a good time frame, and decided to give it a go.

I'm not doing this for any religious reasons, nor for any beliefs about animals. Some people say that eating no animal products gives them more energy, makes their skin and hair more beautiful etc etc, and I'm simply interested in whether being vegan does make a difference.

Anyone who knows me will attests that so far I've been a terrible vegan. I haven't even been a particularly good vegetarian! Initially I thought that this would be easy. Thoughts on veganism went something like this: I rarely eat meat or cheese (except when I've had a bad day and Cambozola is on sale at Co-op and I inhale the whole cheese in five minutes. Don't judge me). On the few occasions I have some sort of spread on bread it's usually sunflower or olive spread rather than butter, and I can do without it. Eggs are delicious, but I can manage not to eat them for forty days. It's not that long. I use natural yoghurt for mayonnaise/spread in sandwiches/as a substitute for crème fraiche, and I like soya yoghurt so that's that one solved. I only have milk in tea and coffee, and I don't mind soya milk so no problem. Sweets, chocolate? Not really my thing to be totally honest. Nope, this was going to be a breeze.

Goodness. Could I have been more wrong? Ladies and gentlemen, this has been hard. As soon as I told myself I couldn't have these things, I wanted them. I wanted them all. It's a simple case of denial, and wanting what you can't have. And also that I seem to have eaten out a lot since I started this, where there's very little vegan food to be had. If I'm paying for a specific dish I like to get the best-looking one on the menu, which almost always involves meat. I've been corrupted into getting takeaway as well, especially after my birthday when my hangover was chronically bad. Don't turn 22, it ruins your life. But that's another story. Food at home has actually been easy, I've stayed vegan there, so perhaps I'm not doing as badly as I thought.

There is one thing that I can't give up, though. Milk. I've had soya milk and almond milk before, and it's been fine in coffee. But not in tea. It is so wrong in tea. I love tea, most people can tell you that. It cures everything, especially headaches when paired with two chocolate fingers and a teaspoon of sugar. My ideal mug of tea is not-too-strong, nice-and-milky. And I will not give that up. Soya tea doesn't cut it. Since this has nothing to do with animal rights and more to do with nutrition, I'm allowing myself this one luxury. I'm in what is definitely the most stressful term of my time at university, and I think I'd go mad if I couldn't have milky tea.

This week I'm starting afresh. There's no point in simply giving up at the first hurdle, so I'm turning over a new leaf. I've worked out a new way to keep me interested: interesting cooking. I love to cook, but usually I don't have the money for expensive ingredients. Vegan cooking, however, is a new experience, so I've hunted out some recipes to try. I say "some". I have 23 recipes open from a single blog. Whoever says vegans don't eat are talking a load of rubbish.

I've taken all of these from The Detoxinista, whose recipes look delicious.

I'm actually excited to make some of these, to make food that looks and tastes slightly like the food I normally eat. I made some almond butter this afternoon, using The Detoxinista's recipe. All I did was dry-roast the almonds at 200c for 10 minutes, and then blend. And blend. And blend some more.





I added some ground cinnamon and it tastes delicious. Almond butter has such a gentle taste that it's great for adding spices - I think I might try a chilli one next...

Sunday, 24 February 2013

Trainers are for life, not just for sport

Trainers are for life, not just for sport

Trainers are for life, not just for sport by serenarudge

I'm having a bit of a trainer moment. Not that these are all exactly trainers, but that's how I'm choosing to define them. I've worked out that I have some money spare, and I'd really like a pair of one of these. I just can't decide which.

I haven't lusted after trainers that weren't for sport since I was twelve and my life goal was to become Avril Lavigne. Looking back, they were hideous and painfully cheap, as shown when my friend's dog chewed them and they spewed foam stuffing all over the house. I think they were from Shoe Zone. Holla.

Anyway, that is all beside the point. Please someone help me decide which ones to buy?

"Time is overrated, Momentum carries me" -- Maximo Park

Well, I've been pretty catastrophically bad at blogging this term. I have no excuse except that I've been swept up in The Final Term Of Teaching (as I've come to call it in my head), spending most of my time in the library trying (and often failing) to work as hard as possible. There's an idea in my head that this is the last chance I have to make something of my degree, and although the likelihood of me getting a First is pretty much zero, I still want to do well. Except for the tiny part of me that simply wants to be a hippy yoga instructor hostel owner somewhere warm by the sea who doesn't even need a degree and wants to give up entirely. I try to ignore that part, it doesn't help much with motivation!

I can't decide if that Maximo Park lyric describes what I've been doing, or what I should do. On the one hand I'm letting momentum carry me forward whilst I do the bare minimum, but on the other I need to forget about time, stop panicking that it's passing too fast, and find some momentum to carry me. Who knows. I've been ill for the last week and a half, and I'm hoping that tomorrow I can wake up and feel inspired to Get Things Done.

It's nearly March now, which helps. I'm excited for Spring, for flowers and warmer weather. I've got some more blog posts lined up, I have magazines to read and tea to drink. I need to remember that life could be a whole lot worse.














Thursday, 17 January 2013

Belated Christmas pt.2

Last year I swore to have as much of a homemade Christmas as I possibly could, in terms of presents. This was my effort, as well as some cards which I forgot to photograph. Not my best, but there's always next year!













Homemade wrapping paper (my sister beat me on this, she cut out Christmassy shapes from tissue paper and stuck them all over cream wrapping paper. I don't know how she had the patience but it was beautiful!), homemade labels, and a homemade giftbox. I tied all the presents with the cream and red ribbon and they looked so beautiful, if a little coordinated for my general state!

Belated Christmas pt.1

I realise that we are over halfway through January, and Christmas is well and truly over (except for the Christmas card weather at the moment; I don't know about the rest of the country but York is stunning right now). But I never blogged the pictures I took of my favourite Christmas presents, which seems a shame, so here you are...

A selection of things from my stocking, the bicycle bell taking centre stage.

The beauty section. I'm going to do a cosmetics post in the next few weeks which will feature some of these, so
stay tuned.

I think I might have screamed when I open these, there are just so many brushes!

I've been after this tea cup for at least a year now, so opening it made me so happy. 

This is just a really cool book to record all sorts of things in, I can't wait to start filling it in.

Kate Mosse is one of my favourite authors - I love the way she mixes modern and historical fiction
without  the contrasting stories jarring with one another. I'm so busy with work right now
that I haven't started reading this, I cannot wait.
So there you have it. I love looking at what other people were given for Christmas, it always gives me ideas for what I might need in my life...